There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
