I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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