You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
