My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
