Farmville is her only friend.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
