You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
