Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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