I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
