I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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