yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
