Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
