i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
