i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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