oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
