i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
