Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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