if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
