so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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