Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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