Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
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