just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
