I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I came so hard my ears popped.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
