Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
