I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
