I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
