STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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