I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
