its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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