my room smells like sperm. sweet.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
