Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
