areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Your shirt... Was in my pants
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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