Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
