can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
