haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
