Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
