the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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