turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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