i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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