Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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