i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i think i have herpe
just one?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
