My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
