I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
false alarm, still single
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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