Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
