I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
