are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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