So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Randomize
