grandma shit on top of the toilet
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
