well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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