It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
