Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
