im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
