Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
